“…Why are you doing this all alone?” (Exodus 18:14 NLT).
I don’t know why, Lord. I really don’t know.
I know I’m not worthy of Your help.
I’m not really wanting to bother You with my petty things.
I’m trying to live out the verses that tell me of the strength You’ve provided me.
No. No, those probably aren’t the real reasons.
I..well…I don’t want to admit I can’t.
I…uh…I would prefer that everyone continue to believe I’m some kind of wonder woman.
I…well…I might as well say it…I want it done my way. There, I’ve said it.
The real reasons why I continue to struggle underneath burdens of my own making, weights that are dragging me down and over issues I choose to hang on to aren’t pretty. They’re centered around me. They focus on my own abilities. They tend to highlight my…well, they’ve always tended to highlight my…failures.
Why am I trying to do it on my own? I’ve seen your record and I’ve experienced my own. And to tell you the truth, I’m not making such a wise choice. But You knew that all along, didn’t You?
You’ll help me, won’t You? I mean, not only in the things that need done, but in the change I’ll have to go through in order to break this pattern I seem to be repeating. Be patient with me; I’ve created quite a rut for myself. Years of practice will be hard to undo, but You will, won’t You?
Whew, I have to say, it feels a lot better getting this off my chest. Thanks for asking.
Malinda Edgell
Illinois
PRAY TOGETHER: Pray for pastors who are struggling with discouragement.
